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marriage & family: escapism, or 'the way of escape'? by vyckie bennett In southern Sudan, government-backed militias are committing genocide against Christian civilians that has left as many as 300,000 dead and 2.5 million homeless. Rape, violence and arson are everyday phenomena. In Bangladesh, Muslim extremists often deny Christians access to public water wells, as well as force them from their homes and beat them. In Egypt, Christian girls have been raped and then forced to marry Muslim men. Others have been abducted and forced to convert to Islam. Families affected by the October earthquake which decimated vast areas of Pakistan and northern India are living in tent villages where aid associations are running short of the supplies of plastic sheets, sleeping mats and blankets to help these refuges cope with the increasingly harsh winter climate. In Malawi, because people are weakened by lack of food, disease is progressing rapidly. Some women and older sisters are turning to sex work to feed their families. The thought of raising children under such conditions is appalling and frightening to "spoiled" Christians in America. How often have we heard it said that we Americans are pampered by our affluent lives of comfort and relative safety? If only we could comprehend the dangerous, squalid conditions that Believers in less fortunate countries face daily, we American Christians would likely quit our moaning and start to show a little appreciation for all the blessings we have been showered with. We Should Be Grateful So, why are Christian families in America so miserable? Truly, we are afflicted by our own lack of gratitude to God for His provision and protection. But I believe that ingratitude is only a small part of the real story for parents trying to raise mature, godly children in our society today. Growing up in a non-Christian home, I was raised by a series of my mother's wretched boyfriends - each new "step-dad" seemed to outdo the last in depravity, drunkenness, perversion and violence. At 15, I managed to "escape" to a degrading and abusive relationship of my very own. For the next six years, I endured humiliation and maltreatment on a daily basis - but I always comforted myself with the knowledge that "at least this isn't as bad as what Mom went through." It wasn't until the night I cowered from dusk to dawn staring up at the double barrel of a loaded shotgun, while the LSD-crazed assailant whose finger was on the trigger berated and cursed me as he tried to work up the courage to blow my head off, that I finally woke up to the desperation of my situation and the absolute necessity to get help and get out. When Do We Say "Enough!?" American families today are consoling ourselves with the thought that "things could be worse." Sure, we have our problems, but at least most of us don't fear for our lives, we aren't starving or living in cardboard boxes. For the most part, we don't worry about war, pestilence, or persecution. And so we tolerate otherwise unacceptable harassment from the American bureaucracy and culture - denying the very real peril to our families, excusing and even enabling our oppressors. The truth is our families are subjected each and every day to assault, disease, famine, and disaster. Though we have never lived under Martial Law or ran for our lives to escape Guerrilla warriors, we are bombarded by entertainment profiteers who blast our homes with deadly violence through television, the Internet, and other high-tech weapons in their evil arsenal. Their shrapnel may not pierce our physical bodies, but they leave us with the wounded hearts and souls of our children as evidence of their carnage. We imagine that our daughters are not being pimped or raped. What about the perverse, hyper-sexualized culture that penetrates the heart of nearly every girl in America? Our young ladies feel violated and ravaged, ashamed and ugly, yet they lack the language to express their pain and insecurities because they've been led to believe that the perpetrators are just "fun and games" and "amusements." Aside from Katrina and the occasional earthquake, our nation has been graciously spared from major man-made and natural disasters. But in recent years we have been deluged by a tsunami of pornography; drug and alcohol dependency is spreading like wildfire; the anger in our broken homes threatens to erupt with the explosive destruction of an active volcano; our homes are buried under an avalanche of liberal propaganda which crushes femininity, trounces traditional marriage, destroys childhood innocence, and suffocates the culture of life - this "White Death" collapses on us all from the lofty cliffs of "tolerance" and "equality." Pestilence? Plague? Americans certainly are not immune. Stress is a leading factor in the increase of numerous diseases including hypertension, stroke and heart disease; a compromised immune system which can lead to infections, allergies or even cancer; and gastrointestinal conditions such as ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome. Emotional disorders such as anxiety, post-traumatic stress and psychosomatic illness are epidemic in our families. Food we have in abundance. In America, we rarely see children with bloated abdomens, rickets or other tell-tale signs of starvation. But as parents, we watch in horror as our sons and daughters suffer the agonies of "leanness of the soul" - their spiritual hunger pains are unmistakable as we see young people turn to drugs and alcohol, sexual promiscuity, eating disorders, self-injury and other destructive behaviors. The scarcity of soul-satisfying nourishment in our country has reached catastrophic proportions. Even within the church, children who appear to be well-fed are being raised on a diet of spiritual junk-food of low nutritional quality and lots of empty calories. Most devastating of all for the American family is the drought of pure, life-giving water. We take it for granted that our tap water is clean, safe, and abundant. Yet, dads and moms are panting for a cup of that cool water of life to quench our parched souls in the barren wastelands of American "civilization." Christian fathers and mothers, when will we wake up?! While we are hoping to escape "The Great Tribulation" we fail to perceive the great tribulation of our own day. Just as in the days of Noah, we are eating and drinking, going about our business while calamity threatens on every side. The families in America - my home and your home - are besieged. We are floundering and vulnerable - as parents we feel like failures. Yet we continue to "suck it up" and keep up appearances - all the while chiding ourselves for not being more thankful that we are so blessed to live in this great land of the free and home of the brave. To be honest, we might all be better off if our troubles were merely physical hardship and material deprivation. At least those problems are easily defined and readily addressed. Witnessing the outpouring of support and practical solutions in response to Katrina's devastation left me almost envious of her victims. Facing the truth of our situation is a crucial first step towards the restoration of our homes. Here's the truth: Our enemy is real and the stakes are high. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Eph. 6:12) A Way of Escape I used be fond of quoting 1 Cor. 10:13 - There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able. In my pride, I thought, "God must really have a lot of confidence in me since He obviously thinks I can handle all of this!" Finally, when it became apparent that I wasn't "handling" all the difficulties in my life, the Lord graciously drew my attention to the second half of the verse: but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. I realized that all those years I had been "handling" problems without even looking for a way to escape. How arrogant! How foolhardy! Let's look at some "ways of escape" for Christian families. He that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth. The Bible often equates "privacy" and secrecy with "walking in darkness." And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. (John 3:19) 1 John 1:7 teaches us that hidden sin and true Christian fellowship are incompatible: If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. While it is inappropriate to simply spill our guts to strangers or mere acquaintances, God's Word makes it clear that rather than excuse, justify, downplay or deny those deeds which are corrupting and destroying our homes, we are to expose them. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove [expose] them.(Eph. 5:11) Indeed, exposure and confession are God's prescription to break the power of Satan in our lives. Open their eyes, and ... turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God. (Acts 26:18) No man that warreth ... Since American homes are the battlegrounds in the war against our families, we need to leave our amusements and take up arms. I'm not talking about buying a shotgun (though I am not opposed to that) - rather we need to build up an arsenal of weapons to protect and defend our homes. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds. (2 Cor. 10:4) We must suit up our families with the whole armor of God daily (Eph. 6) and put up a hedge of protection through prayer. And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none. Ezekiel 22:30 Doing battle may not sound much like a way of escape - but it is Christ who gives us victory when we valiantly fight the good fight of faith. Your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about ... One means of escape which God has not provided for us is escapism.
A key difference between Christianity and all the
other religions is the means of spiritual "enlightenment" - I'll use
meditiation as an example. False religions "meditate" in order
to gain access to the spiritual world. The way to do that is to
"zone out" or enter into an altered state of consciousness in
which the brain is basically not processing the input received through the
five senses. When my brother and I attended a Buddist temple in Lake
Tahoe, we were given beads to rub together while chanting - the goal was to
chant the same phrase over and over until we could stop thinking. That
did not work too well for either of us and we were glad to give it up when we
realized what we were involved with. Every false religion will find a
way to attain this altered state of consciousness - whether through chanting,
repetitious prayers, strict asteticism (physical punishment), fasting, sleep
deprivation, long and excited singing and dancing, various musical rhythms,
hypnosis, controlled breathing, and drug use. In fact, the word
translated as "sorcery" which the Bible forbids is the same root
from which we get "pharmacy" because the use of drugs was employed
in order to acheive this altered state of consciousness. The key is to
prevent the brain from actively processing sensory input. There are many passages that warn us to "stay awake" and "arouse yourself from slumber," etc. The verse that I think is most clear is in 1 Peter 5:8 where we are told to Be alert! For your adversary the devil roams about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Here we have the problem (the enemy wants to devour us) preceded by the solution - be alert! That verb "be alert" is the opposite of an altered state of consciousness - it means actively processing - sharp thinking - being on guard. God set up a barrier of protection between us and the demonic realm and that barrier is active thought. The reason false religions go to great lengths to shut down their brains is because that is quickest means of "tapping into" the spiritual realm - it lowers the barrier and gives the demons direct access to our spirit. This is very dangerous and we need to be on guard against entering an altered state of consciousness. (For more on this topic, I recommend The Cult Explosion by Dave Hunt.) There are many non-religious ways of entering an altered state of consciousness - here's something interesting I came across while doing a research paper in college: Scientists have done studies of brain activity of people viewing television. There are two types of brain waves that can be detected by science - alpha waves are active thinking patterns, beta waves are sleep patterns. Within 20 minutes (often much less) of the subjects watching TV (content of programming made no difference) their brain activity turned from alpha waves to beta - they were awake, but their minds were not actively processing the input from the TV and they even seemed oblivious to other activity or stimulus within the room. They were in a trance - or altered state of consciousness.
We must be vigilant. Our troubles will not disappear by simply ignoring or forgetting about them. We must diligently pursue solutions from the Word of God and with the help of fellow believers. This is a paradox: God promises a way of escape, but when we try to escape our problems things only get worse. The solution lies in seeking God's means of escape. Ask. Seek. Knock. Pray for wisdom. Wrestle with God and His Word and don't let go until the day dawns and you receive a blessing. Things can be a whole lot better! Let's not congratulate ourselves that America is not the most degenerate nation on the planet. Let's not settle for "things could be so much worse." We don't have to wait until blood is running in our streets before we get serious about defending our homes. Our present condition IS a very real distress - for our children's sake, Be Alert! We can be counted among the overcomers. These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. 1John 5:4 I'm Not Finished My column for this issue turned into a regular soapbox and I admit to having gotten rather carried away - I ended up writing a feature-length article which now appears on the front page of this paper entitled, "We don't really have it so bad ..." And I still haven't said my fill. What got me started is the frustration I have been feeling towards the apparent failure of the "pro-family movement" in America lately. I'm sure these organizations have the best of intentions when they push legislation to remove the marriage penalty from the tax code, force cable companies to offer "a la carte" subscriptions on premium channels, introduce competition into the education system by promoting school choice and vouchers, demand that merchants who profit from the commercialization of Christ's birth acknowledge "Christmas" in their promotional advertisements, etc. But I can't help but notice how out of touch some of these "pro-family" organizations appear to be with real-life families in America. A lot of money and manpower have been spent in the "battle for America's families" - yet little has changed and in fact, in the years since the launch of the "Moral Majority" our families have gone from confusion to chaos to crisis. I think of our neighbor, "Patty," a single mom of five who has had a desire to homeschool her children for at least ten years now, but instead she must rely on the government school and daycare to raise her children while she works full-time and is barely able to support her family. She feels she has lost her older children to the world and fears losing the younger ones as well. Will vouchers and the teaching of Intelligent Design help this family? A homeschooling friend, "Carol," recently called me in outrage over what should have been a routine physical check-up for her children - only she hadn't been aware that "routine" now includes pubic exams on all children, questioning regarding sexual preferences and activity, distillation of birth control information and other invasions of privacy and violations of innocence. Carol's young girls were traumatized at having to remove their panties and submit their private parts for inspection by a complete (male) stranger because of his position of authority as a "doctor." Her adolescent son did not know how to respond to the question about whether he has a "boyfriend." If you say, "What's the big deal? Kid's these days are exposed to that kind of stuff all the time," you make my case for me. Things are a lot worse NOW! I hope this is rock-bottom - I fear it is not. When abortion was legalized in 1973, Christians were shocked! Pro-life groups cited this terrible defeat in their appeals urging us to take immediate action to stop the slaughter of innocents. When no such action was forthcoming, these groups resorted to photos of actual aborted babies to prick our national conscience. Americans quickly acclimated to those pictures and later, even details of the gruesome Partial-Birth abortion procedure could not shake us from our complacency. Today, we are being confronted with the horrible pain that pre-born babies suffer and laws are being enacted requiring mothers who seek abortions to be offered pain medication for their soon-to-be dead children. For years we have been warned about the "slippery-slope" of our failure to uphold the right to life for all persons, born and unborn. As if killing babies in the womb were not tragedy enough, pro-lifers told us to beware lest the anti-life zealots target "defective" newborns, the mentally ill, disabled and elderly. This is all coming to pass. Last year, as a nation, we watched in helplessness as Terri Schaivo was starved and dehydrated to death with legal sanction. Support for restrictions on abortion is growing in recent years. Are we finally nearing the threshold where people feel sufficiently threatened to actually put a stop to this injustice? This same story can be told on numerous fronts: Remember the "Enough is Enough!" anti-pornography campaign of the early 1990s? That was well before the popularity and privacy of the Internet inundated our homes with an inconceivable amount of unspeakably sick filth that we could not have imagined. About that same time, Don Wildmon's American Family Association began their boycotting campaigns as TV networks were "pushing the envelope" by using the "f-word" in late-night programming. My mother prayed that I would not get hooked on marijuana - she had never heard of meth, huffing, or strangulation for a high. One of the first great threats to the institution of marriage was women leaving the home for the workforce. Most of us are not old enough to remember that lost battle. Today we've pretty much conceded to same-sex marriage and are looking to the next affront - polygamy. How far along do you suppose America is today on our moral progression towards total collapse? Where does our help come from? In a recent email, a Christian homeschooling father, who confessed that his teen daughter has to wear "things" on her arms to hide her self-inflicted cuts, had this to say: I do a slow burn when I read the [pro-family group's] email alerts.... I KNOW [my wife] and I are not the only family that doesn't meet the standards of the home-schoolers written about in these publications.... there are people who are struggling and, dare I use the "F" word? Failing. ... The most troubling issue is that we feel like we are alone AND I KNOW we are not. Now, I do not want to detract from the pro-life, pro-family movement. Particularly in Nebraska we have some very dedicated people serving the families of our state through various public policy groups such as Gambling With the Good Life, Nebraska Right to Life, Nebraska Family Council, Family First, Omaha For Decency, and the Nebraska Christian Home Educators Association. The Nebraska Family Times is a pro-life, pro-family paper and we encourage our readers to support these good and necessary organizations. Nevertheless, as Christians, we must not look to government policy and social programs to save our families. Our only hope is in Christ - He alone is able to heal hurts, save our marriages, deliver our children and restore the foundations for future generations. Later, the above-mentioned father went on to say, "please note that we do not consider that we are failing, or failures. We are struggling AND we think that is where God wants us because we have to depend on Him." It may seem simplistic given the complexity of problems facing today's families, but I believe that our glorious and powerful God has given us all things necessary for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him - that is, through His Living Word. (2 Peter 1:3) The Bible has all the answers we need - it's up to us to dust it off, crack open its pages, and drink freely of the water of life contained therein. Coup d'état There is a quiet revival sweeping our nation. In his recent book, Christian researcher George Barna describes his discovery of this "Revolution" which brings with it some very promising qualities - an intense pursuit of godliness, new networks of believers supporting each other, heightened financial giving to ministry endeavors, greater sensitivity to the presence of God in the world, a greater sense of freedom to be a genuine disciple in the midst of a secular society. You won't see this revolution touted in headlines or flashed across the television screens. This revival is taking place in the hearts and homes of men and women across our nation who are tired of "playing church" and are committed to being the Church. We're tired of listening to religious and political platitudes as our beleaguered children become the latest statistics which pundits will use to garner financial support for the newest "family-friendly" programs. Grace be to you and peace from God the Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ, Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father: To whom be glory for ever and ever. (Galatians 1:3-5)
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